Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My ATM looks so different sober.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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