I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i out mim tonsoeep
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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