It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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