New invention idea: vibrating tampons
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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