Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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