is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
