I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
