marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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