Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
