I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
