STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
