I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize