New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
