i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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