mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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