"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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