Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
