Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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