Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
