My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
