Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
