my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
