yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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