when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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