somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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