Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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