No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
