maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
