Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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