I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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