is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
