So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
