I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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