I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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