i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
