how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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