I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
