you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
