Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
