He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN