It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on