...so i touched it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
