If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
