Define "chronic" masturbator.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
