I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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