And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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