It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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