I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
