watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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