So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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