shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
