im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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