Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
