Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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