Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
