i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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