You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
