Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Someone came in the potted fern
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
