I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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