I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
